photo cred / isn't this little workspace perfect? i want.
I gatta say-checking my phone every fifteen minutes for new e-mails/blog comments feels no different than checking my phone every fifteen minutes for text messages from dudes. If anything, it feels better. Cause if I don't have any new blog comments, I shrug my shoulders and go on about my day. But if I do.. then yay! (It's almost a whole lot of silly how much one little comment or e-mail can put an extra pep in my step on any given day.) (hint hint, wink wink)
Whereas if I get a text message from a chap I'm seeing, cool. But if I don't... uh, what. the. heck. In comes the over-analyzation, the worry, the frustration at one's inability to carry out a speedy response and/or portray a willful and determined desire to communicate and show interest. The dating life can really be so stressful, ya know. Joyous in many ways, yes, but by golly, stressful as f.
I needed this break. And I'm enjoying it quite nicely.
Much credit to this whole blogging voyage. Really. Aside from setting some pretty huge goals for myself as of lately, creating this little space has given me something to keep busy with, something to motivate me, to hold me accountable, to really truly focus on myself and those relationships (new and old) in my life that are strictly platonic. To reflect on how far I've come since the new year when I was so generously hit all at once with a bunch of craziness and heartbreak.
And boy have I really gone and done it. I've created a domain name, a Twitter account, a Facebook fan page.. the whole nine yards, in an attempt to make this new beloved hobbie of mine known. And ya wanna know something? I kinda feel like a jack ass. I mean, in all honesty, it's not like I'm asking people to come check out or support some great cause I'm fighting for. Or like I'm in some cool band that deserves an established fan base. Or even running a real profitable business behind this. Even the thought of that being the case in the future, just seems so far-fetched when all I'm really doing here is talking about myself and my mostly ordinary life. We've all got our own stories to tell, and I've got some crazy ones, sure, but at the moment, it's not like I'm really doing anything that extravagant. I'm moving to New York. From California. There's been plenty of moments already where I've thought to myself, "Really Jen? Who cares."
But you know what. Who cares who cares! At the end of the day, I'm doing this for me. With or without comments, followers, approval... this is my new gig, and it makes me really, very happy. For the interested-welcome! For the non-interested-it's all good! Heck, my sisters never click onto this thing, except to steal and re-load photos I took of them onto their instagrams..and it's doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm not doing this for anyone else, I'm doing it for me.
This is my blog. My own personal journeys accounted for. My super savvy new generator of peace and self-reflection. My new boyfriend. (Along with Peeta Mellark. Hello precious piece of fiction. I have a huge crush on you.)
I just wanna say thanks to everyone who is here and reading. I progress with or with out you, but your company, your thoughts, and your encouragement, is sweet. And it means a lot to me. Really, really.
In other news, I'm having some crazy thoughts lately. Like.... just buying my one-way plane ticket to New York for the 1st of June. I already have a place to stay at first when I get there... maybe I should just do it. Just get out there. I'm feeling so anxious lately, it hurts, and the longer I hold on tight to this whole "save five grand first", the more I wonder if it's just gunna hold me back longer than necessary.
What do you guys think?
Risky has always been my color....
And going back to blogging... how do you feel about it--Why do you read blogs? And if you have a blog of your own, why do you blog? How do you feel about "promoting" your blog? Do you sometimes feel like I do.. a little bit silly and self-centered?
Here's what some really awesome people have shared about their own blogging experiences, that has truly reassured my own part in all of this, as well as inspired me to keep at it passionately.
- Tammy's post about blogging.
- Jenni Chui's post, "Why I'll Never Quit Blogging"
- This incredible piece by Alexandra Rosas from Blogher's Voices of the Year last summer. (This one is more for those trying to understand what blogging even is, or why any of us do it... but still. I just love this piece so much, I have to share! )
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts :)